Manglish

Monday afternoon, lunch time. This is how a conversation with a colleague goes.

He Irene, take your lunch ready?
Not yet. Where you want to go?
I feel like eating char kway teow. But no Chinese shop around here la.
Sunway Damansara got, what? Lets go there. The food is syok man.
Ahh, dowan ah. So far la.
Then take the car la. Only 10 minutes. I follow your car, can ah?
Hot la, cannot on the aircon in my car also. Forgot to put gas some more.
Then just eat here la. Mamak got cheese naan. Chicken rice also nice.
OK la jom.

2 hours later in the office.

Irene, boss looking for you.
Oh why ah?
Probably to discuss on that deal la. You finish the response ready right?
Last time I submitted, what?
Sure or not? Last time you told me you still waiting for the customer.
Ready did la. Never mind, I just see him shortly.
Better hurry. Just now he was angry you know.
Oh is it? Why ah?
Someone forgot to off the lights on Friday. Spilling electricity like that. Sure die one if boss find out who did. Was not you is it?
Ehh, shut up la idiot. Of course it was not me, I cabut already, what?
Wah la wey, why you so like that one ah? Was joking only la.
Maybe it was “colleague's name”. Really cannot tahan that guy la. Always lepaking during office hours, the bladibarsket.
Oh like that lor.

Here, Manglish is a language, where they have blended English with Malay words, Chinese expressions and probably topped it up with some Indian spices as well. "La" is the 27th in the alphabet. Good thing is, I have come to understand what the locals speak and successfully adapted to it. Bad thing is, my English is f*cked beyond belief.

Never mind la.

PS. Translation of the above is readily available upon request.