The laws of karma
It hasn’t really sunk in yet but I’ll be leaving the Netherlands in six days to start another chapter in my journey of pursuing happiness. Unbelievably crazy how fast time flew by.
I have accepted a job offer in KL; I’ll be working for a company focused on providing technology solutions for revenue collections and debt recovery management. The greatest challenge will most probably be the fact that I actually do not have much experience in the area that I’m supposed to be working. Loads of learning for sure, with falling down and crawling back up again. I’m totally up for the challenge. Bring it on! :)
So I’m going back to KL for at least a year. I’m excited and a little bit sad at the same time, if not anxious too. I’ve just caught up with family and friends here and now I’m leaving them again. My Dutch - the tongue twisting and dry gargling language that it is - has finally gotten back to the original level and now it’s switching to English again. I’m trying to keep my heartbeat under control but the thought of leaving makes my blood stream faster somehow. I can’t really explain it; it’s such a strange observation, the meaning of which is still beyond my grasp. My head is a giant ball of chaos.
I’ve always said that I’d be coming back to KL. Although two months ago I was not sure yet when I was indeed coming back, if I was coming back at all. I'd never thought that it would actually go so fast. It’s supposed to happen as it did, I’m sure of that. It’s the laws of karma coming down right and I’m grateful.
Flying back into the arms of the guy that has rocked my world for the past months is definitely something I’m looking forward to. On the other hand, saying goodbye to dearest mom is NOT something I like to do. At the moment I still have so many papers to sort out and stuff to settle so my departure still seems unreal. The moment of truth will be at the gate with the boarding ticket in my hand waving to everyone, the traveler on her journey.
Last year when I left for Malaysia for the first time, I was crying quietly on the plane thinking what the fuck I was doing and wondering whether I had made the right decision. A great year it turned out to be! And although I’m happy about the outcome of the events in my life so far and although it was my own choice to go back to KL, I can’t help but wonder whether it would be the same soggy Irene on the plane this time. Why do I want to leave again? The Netherlands is not bad at all; in fact it’s pretty convenient living here. I’ve become used to the fast internet again, everything accessible and available, the bicycling (it’s great!), the oil-less food, the four seasons, the tall gorgeous men (I’m getting as much eye candy as I can while I’m still here), the good European life style.
So why going back to Malaysia would you ask? Because right now my heart lies there, my burning desire to seek the unknown and find a new horizon, my feeling comfortable with stepping out of my comfort zone, my wish to maximise my potential, my yearning to be with the koala and swallow him whole, read and reread the poetry that is in him. All of the above makes this journey more than worthwhile.
I’m ready… I think…
I have accepted a job offer in KL; I’ll be working for a company focused on providing technology solutions for revenue collections and debt recovery management. The greatest challenge will most probably be the fact that I actually do not have much experience in the area that I’m supposed to be working. Loads of learning for sure, with falling down and crawling back up again. I’m totally up for the challenge. Bring it on! :)
So I’m going back to KL for at least a year. I’m excited and a little bit sad at the same time, if not anxious too. I’ve just caught up with family and friends here and now I’m leaving them again. My Dutch - the tongue twisting and dry gargling language that it is - has finally gotten back to the original level and now it’s switching to English again. I’m trying to keep my heartbeat under control but the thought of leaving makes my blood stream faster somehow. I can’t really explain it; it’s such a strange observation, the meaning of which is still beyond my grasp. My head is a giant ball of chaos.
I’ve always said that I’d be coming back to KL. Although two months ago I was not sure yet when I was indeed coming back, if I was coming back at all. I'd never thought that it would actually go so fast. It’s supposed to happen as it did, I’m sure of that. It’s the laws of karma coming down right and I’m grateful.
Flying back into the arms of the guy that has rocked my world for the past months is definitely something I’m looking forward to. On the other hand, saying goodbye to dearest mom is NOT something I like to do. At the moment I still have so many papers to sort out and stuff to settle so my departure still seems unreal. The moment of truth will be at the gate with the boarding ticket in my hand waving to everyone, the traveler on her journey.
Last year when I left for Malaysia for the first time, I was crying quietly on the plane thinking what the fuck I was doing and wondering whether I had made the right decision. A great year it turned out to be! And although I’m happy about the outcome of the events in my life so far and although it was my own choice to go back to KL, I can’t help but wonder whether it would be the same soggy Irene on the plane this time. Why do I want to leave again? The Netherlands is not bad at all; in fact it’s pretty convenient living here. I’ve become used to the fast internet again, everything accessible and available, the bicycling (it’s great!), the oil-less food, the four seasons, the tall gorgeous men (I’m getting as much eye candy as I can while I’m still here), the good European life style.
So why going back to Malaysia would you ask? Because right now my heart lies there, my burning desire to seek the unknown and find a new horizon, my feeling comfortable with stepping out of my comfort zone, my wish to maximise my potential, my yearning to be with the koala and swallow him whole, read and reread the poetry that is in him. All of the above makes this journey more than worthwhile.
I’m ready… I think…
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2 comments:
"Why?" is a very good question. Especially if you consider that almost nobody would have had this problem 20 years ago.
I guess that life and the expectations everybody has are changeing. Push yourself, go that extra mile to gain experiences beyond a 9-to-5-life, be different from others, kill boredom. Nowadays you can, money- and political-wise.
I recently read an article saying that people are more and more afraid of boredom - much more than our mums and dads. We are not used to it anymore, we cannot stand it. And this is like a spiral because we have to do something new to escape it.
I feel similar. I want to see what is possible. And as we know: Impossible is nothing :)
Now that you're back in Malaysia, how do you feel?!
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