Happiness is a butterfly

Happiness is a butterfly,

which when pursued,

is always beyond your grasp,

But which,

if you sit down quietly,

may alight upon you

I found this little poem (author unknown) today, it's simple and pretty. It also reflects the true essence of life. Although happiness exists in many ways, in different shapes and colours, everybody is looking for it. Everybody is pursuing it in one way or the other.

I had to think of my own journey in pursuit of happiness after reading some friends' blogs. One seems fascinated by the way other people work and how they carry themselves, yet at the same time afraid that what they are in reality wouldn't match the image of them portrayed in her own head. Another one thinks that she lacks a big vision in life due to compromises that she has made in the past. Another one struggles with her perceptions of people and life - partly reinforced by actual events - and bases her decisions thereon, living in a glass house with the risk of missing opportunities. (I won't mention names here, but if you recognise yourself, please correct me if I'm totally wrong about you)

Different stories, yet the same problem: all of us suffer from an identity crisis sometimes, self-discovery is a long and complicated process of enlightenment. Goethe once said: "One must be something in order to do something." There is another issue that we have to deal with: what to do with ourselves once we found out who we are. With the limitless horizon ahead of us, choosing a direction in life is not a piece of cake.

Humans are intriguing creatures: the brilliance of the brains can change the world, yet it can also cause the owner's downfall. Where it boils down to is, we are all searching for something, that something cannot be objectively defined but I would like to call it happiness. In the end, it's the only thing that matters. Whether you are rich or poor, hold a doctor's degree or work as a crap cleaner, own a castle or live off welfare, does not necessarily answer the question of whether you fall asleep with a smile at night. To me, happiness is not only what money can buy, it manifests itself in the smallest things in daily life. Sometimes I see those things and appreciate them as such, other times I completely walk past them as I'm too busy wallowing in self-pity. My problem is that I tend to want too many things at once and too fast. At the same time, I tend to be indecisive as I don't know what I want after contemplating the many many things to choose from. A contradictio in terminis, I admit.

I don't know where I will be or what I will do in ten years from now. It's all wide open with heaps of question marks all around. I trust my gut to tell me which step to take next. I will await my calling. Whatever it might be, I will do that which I think would make me happy or at least bring me a bit closer to my own happiness.

One never goes so far as when one doesn't know where one is going. Therein lies the wisdom. At least for now, let it suffice.

The journey continues...