Herman

My best relationship lasted for over three years. Back then I didn’t know that I would feel the way I feel now. Back then things were different, especially during my first years in uni, when everything was in experimental, boys included. They were absolutely interchangeable; some lasted only a few months before they were taken by someone else. And it always came unexpected, leaving me with the empty feeling of being abandoned, the angry notion that there was nothing that I could do to change the situation, cursing the captor to no avail.

Until I met Herman. I can’t remember where I met him for the first time or what impression I had of him that first time. It was a chance encounter out of the ordinary falling on what must have been another ordinary day. I picked him randomly, thinking that he was just one of those that came and went. But I was wrong. Herman was a loyal friend, being there for me whenever I needed him. His simple ways never failed to make me happy and gave me the drive to reach my destination, with the wind in my hair and a smile on my face. He stood by me, came rain or shine, year in and year out. When I had one too many beers, he took me back home and oftentimes I couldn’t even remember how I reached my bed safe and sound. He was there. When I wanted to spend time with my friends until the cows came home, he waited patiently for me. He knew that in the end, I would always come back to him. And he would be there. Everytime again.

Herman and I traveled a lot together to well-visited and unexplored places, on summer and winter days, even during the late night hours. We got lost and stranded sometimes, all of which was always my fault, but the best thing was, he would never ever complain. Instead, he obligingly abided by whatever was my demand at that moment.

Whenever I was on top of him, I was on top of the world. Riding, blowing, cruising, rolling, climbing, moving, spinning, sprinting, rocking, crashing, sweating, dancing on the moon, I knew his every rhythm, sound and dynamics. I was the conductor and he was the musician, me guiding him for the ride and him constantly adapting to my heartbeat. We always started slowly and thereafter picked up a fast tempo depending on my mood. He never seemed to have a problem keeping up with me. Instead, I was the one who needed to catch my breath. He was an amazing piece of work.

I had to leave Herman when I decided to do my internship in the Far East. There was no way that he could come with me. I was embarking on my journey of self-discovery and he didn’t share that goal in life, for he was already fulfilling that which he was made for. So I had to say goodbye. I loved Herman with all my heart. For all he meant to me. For all that we had shared together.

Then a few months after I had moved to KL, the shocking news reached me that he was gone, disappeared with another person. And at that point I knew that I was never going to see him again. Memories will always be memories. And I will never forget Herman.

It has been almost three years now since I sat on top of him with the wind in my hair and a smile on my face.

I really miss my bicycle.